'He was into me first’: Maid of Honor Uninvited from Wedding by Bride for Repeatedly Stating She Dated the Groom First

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  • 01
    Posted by u/Throwaway_aita8878 5 days ago AITA for uninviting my best friend from my wedding because she kept telling people she dated my fiancé first?
  • 02
    Izzy (27F) and I (26F) have been friends since we were born. We were practically raised together. We were closer in college, but after that we have been drifting apart a little but I still had a strong bond with her up until recently. She has been there for me a lot and I have too so its tough, this situation.
  • 03
    After college, when Izzy was like 23, she went on a few dates with Jake (my fiancé) but then told him she wasn't interested in anything serious. Even though I was her best friend, I didn't really know Jake because she used to get asked out a lot, but only a few turned serious. So I knew about her boyfriends, but not necessarily her dates.
  • 04
    Almost a year after that, I moved in with Izzy and so we got close again. It was after this that I met Jake. We quickly became good friends. I used to talk about him to Izzy a lot, but its when I showed her his picture that she recognised him and told me about her dates with him. Friendships were more important to me that any guy back then so I asked her if it was okay to date him because I liked him a lot. She said she had no problem and joked about it ever turning into a relationship, which I
  • 05
    Jake and I became serious very quick, he is my soulmate. By then though, Izzy and I lost touch a bit since I moved in with Jake, and work became more of a priority. Right until I got engaged, she used to still joke to both me and Jake that she didn't think we would be this into each other, and at that time I saw it as funny because Jake is the opposite of me. After I got engaged, she became very weird.
  • 06
    She was very shocked, and would not believe it. Then later she used to tell me I'm too young to be married and if I'm sure, but I saw this as just concern. Although she agreed to be my MOH along with my sister.
  • 07
    Afterwards, I posted on my Instagram about our engagement and people were reposting it and congratulating us. But Izzy just captioned it saying "you better mention me in your vows because he was into me first haha". Jake felt very uncomfortable, and so did I but I defended her saying that, its just izzy, she jokes around a lot. But I still let her know that it was a bit uncomfortable and she said that she was just joking.
  • 08
    After Christmas, we hosted a dinner party and that day, izzy just kept telling all the friends and family gathered that Jake dated her first, she let me have him, stuff like that. Even after telling her it was not okay, she joked around. Later I told her that she was crossing my boundaries and that it was not okay, to which she said I was overreacting. In the end I told her to not attend my wedding at all.
  • 09
    I have been overthinking a lot after that. Right now, people who know about this are just choosing sides based on who they know more. I'm worried I'm ruining a lifelong friendship when I'm not even right. What if to her it really was just a joke and I'm not being understanding. But she is not being supportive or positive, which I think is unfair. I'm confused.
  • 10
    IL hannahkelli 5 days ago Certified Proctologist [24] NTA. I think that she loses any right to claim it was "just a joke" when you've expressed that it makes you uncomfortable and asked her to stop.
  • 11
    You have every right to enforce your boundaries, even if that means ending a long friendship. If she was a good friend, she would value your feelings over her need for attention - which is clearly what this is about, in my opinion. Also, it's weird that people are choosing sides in this - there is literally no reason for it and they should really start behaving like adults. 6.1k Reply Share
  • 12
    ● Llama-no_drama 5 days ago Aficionado [11] Exactly. If I make a joke that doesn't land, or if someone tells me it makes them uncomfortable (not often but I'm ND so struggle sometimes) the first thing I do is apologise. The second thing I do is commit to memory that it's not something to ever say again.
  • 13
    "It's a joke" is only a (semi) reasonable defence before you know it makes someone uncomfortable. Once you know, you're an AH if you repeat it. Reply Share ↑ 1.4k
  • 14
    DoIwantToKnow6417 5 days ago ● Professor Emeritass [75] The "joke" has now become a pathetic statement from a woman who can't stand the fact her younger friend is getting married before her, and to a guy whose value she wasn't able to see. 1.1k Reply Share
  • 15
    wordsmythy 4 days ago edited 1 day ago Pooperintendant [57] And by telling this stupid story over and over again, she's trying to make it all about her. Can't stand not being the center of attention, which goes to your point about her friend getting married before she does.

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